we went to quiapo yesterday as a prerequisite for our feature writing activity in english. the whole trip was interesting. it was not everyday that i found people of all ages running around a frenzied place selling all sorts of whatnot from crystal pyramids to life-saving charms. the bulk of the experience was the fortune telling session that i had with some bespectacled madame. she told me all kinds of things which were apparantly either of my present and of my future. some were obviously true. most of which i find plain crappy. i found out that i was going to marry at the age of 30 to my third or fourth boyfriend (my first and second ones are, in her own words, "only to be scratched out".). who knew that i would be surpassing my baby-making quota of 2? i was going to have 5 kids. imagine that... five kids. i'm a birthing machine. i didn't know i had that in me. she told me that i was going to take up another course and will be successful in my endeavors. she had discovered that my, as well as every one else's in this third world country, mantra in life was to be the employer and not the employee. i discovered that someone will be romancing me in december. she told me watch my back as i cross the street and warned me that men with wives will be courting me. as for my traits... she told me that i was a smart person who is nice but very frank. this is the reason why a lot of people envy me... to this very moment, i don't find the connection between my being "nice" and people envying me. after all, with what has been said, shouldn't i be liked? she also told me that i am quite discriminating when it comes to befriending people. so, she says, i would succeed in life probably because i would supposedly have all the right connections. you couldn't imagine just how many times she mentioned the word "success" and "successful". the entire duration i was just sitting there trying not to shower her with cynicism. i hope she didn't read the huge DUH look on my face. she could've cursed me or whatever. in case she does, i'll be getting my 150 bucks back. strangely though, i think the whole fortune-telling idea can become quite addictive. before i go back and get another 150 pesos eaten up by a pseudo-psychic, will someone please hit me in the head with a pogo stick?

i feel like such a poser for joining the Ateneo Musicians Pool. i was so eager to be part of it before... but when i started to answer the questionnaire given to me by the amp people, i seriously began to doubt my being there. i don't think i'm musical enough to be part of that org. i can't even recall the first record that i bought. what the hell is wrong with me?

everyone's acting up. it's so pathetic. all of a sudden, everyone's acting so fucking hypocritical. what the hell is up? they keeping on saying things that defy their ideals. they keep on criticizing people. i.e. those who are rude, stereotypical and cutesy... yet they are rude, stereotypical, and cutesy themselves. it's driving me nuts.

i want to get out of high school. i want to get out of this rut. whoever said that true friends stay true lied. everyone can be pretty fake. out.

shit really finds its way, doesn't it?

i received my letter from the University of the Philippines Diliman a few days ago. i was expecting to read crap. it's my first time to get rejected by a university. well it's never too late to start.

what disheartened me the most is the fact that i didn't perform too badly on the UPCAT. in fact, i got a 94 for my science profiency, a 97 for my reading comprehension and a whopping 99 for my language proficiency. no shit. what i hated about it all is the fact that an 82 for my math proficiency dragged my UPG all the way DOWN. i know, i suck at goddamn math.

uch. i was *this* close into getting into UP. i'm telling you... i could swear all day long... scream my lungs out and jump till my feet bleed... but i guess it all boils down to one thing: I AM NOT CUT FOR U.P. maybe i'll be an isko someday... but not now. it'll never be now.

now it's official dude. i'm for ATENEO DE MANILA.

the bitterness must end here.

i can't wait to get out of high school. i want to get out of this almost-out-of-high school hype. i am so stressed out and i am pissed. our thesis is due on friday and our defense is drawing near. i still have a lot of requirements to finish. but my mind isn't cooperating anymore since the results from lasalle and ateneo came out. goddammit. i do WANT to take things seriously in school. but it's quite hard for me to... knowing that i already have a school waiting for me. it's a callous statement, i know. but what the heck? it's true.

yes.. yes... i know that i have to do everything if i desire to graduate. i mean, i do want to get my diploma. but i also want to skip this whole requirement-finishing crap. it's sucking out all of my energy. i'm fuckin serious. no decent student, including me, would want that to happen to herself but why does it always?